The Unforgiven: Betrayal and Remorse
by Romantic Kiss
Summary: Oneshot. Peter Pettegrew's journal that listed events which he did as a Death Eater.


The Unforgiven: Betrayal and Remorse

September 16th, 1980- Today was a grand day. I confided in my lord and master of the Potter's whereabouts. Most others fear him, as well they should. Dumbledore told the Order that he found out that there was a spy amongst the allies of the Potter's. So proudly do I wear my mask. No one even suspected me as the spy. All the time I heard them say, "Poor, pathetic, Peter Pettigrew. Can't do a single spell." Pathetic. That's what they all though of me. Pathetic. They laughed. They always laughed, and it was always about me. But, I got the better of them. And now I shall dance on their graves...

Being supposedly "pathetic" worked to my advantage. They thought the spy was Remus or Sirius. Heart of a lion, those two. I am surprised that dear old Sirius didn't join in. I mean, half his family's here with me. But I guess that's what you get when you befriend James Potter...

James Potter, now where do I begin with you? Handsome, talented, popular, beautiful wife, a baby boy... Not 'where do I begin?' More like, 'where do I end?'. And Lily. The gorgeous girl who spurred my affections when I was a mere boy. Beautiful, graceful, and intelligent; Lily Evans was the girl every guy wanted. In her seventh year, she became rebellious and wild. That made me want her even more.

James didn't deserve her. She was too good for him, and in my opinion, she settled for less. She bore him a child, a child which should have been _mine_. I would have treated her better. I would treat her like my best friend, not a trophy (as James did) and she would've been happier. Oh well, her loss...

Anyway, after I told him of their whereabouts, he promised me a prize. I requested Lily Potter as my prize. He agreed and soon set out for his annihilation mission to the Potters. I could hardly wait...

-Wormtail

September 23rd, 1980- Darkness overshadows me. I can't even meet Lily's eyes during Order meetings anymore. I can't look into the eyes of the woman I love and say, "I sold your son and husband to the Dark Lord." It stabs me in the heart like a Cruciatus Curse.

Dumbledore said that he found a new Divination teacher, some batty chick named Sybil. He went on and on about how she gave a stupid prophecy. I already knew, of course, because I was there and listening with Severus. Of course, that was a few weeks ago; I wonder why he bothered to tell them so late.

I hear him telling James and Lily that my master's after them. I feel horrible when I see those perfect green eyes shine with tears. James holds her in his arms, which is his way of saying that everything will be alright. How I wish I could hold her in mine. Merlin has dealt me a cruel hand, a hand which I must play. I went from wanting acceptance to wanting power, and I feel a pulse of energy running through my veins. My dearest Lily, I am so sorry...

-Wormtail

October 4th, 1980- The Death Eaters held a meeting tonight. We were going to torture the Longbottoms for their knowledge and whereabouts of the Dark Lord's favorite Horcrux, Slyhterin's golden locket. Somehow, they obtained it, recognized what it was, and attempted to destroy it. Their attempts proved futile, though. Their eyes started bleeding and they were attacked by Inferi. I laughed, of course. The Longbottoms should know to not take anything that doesn't belong to them...

Barty Crouch told us that he knew where the Longbottoms were at this very moment, as his father was friends with them. Lucius, Barty, Bella, Rodolphus, and I told our master of the plan and set out fo Number 17, Shallow-Grave Road.

The night was black; black as every one of the souls that came to do the Dark Lord's bidding. The path to the Longbottom's house was a long and treacherous one, what with its hidden shadows and winding paths. The moon was new, and the air had the horrid stench of fear and blood. The Dark Lord told us that we could not Apparate, as the grounds had an anti-Apparition jinx on it. So, we walked. And walked. And walked some more, until we finally reached our destination.

The old house was creepy in the moonlight. Everything creaked or made some sort of sound, so there was really no way to sneak in without anyone hearing us. After a few minutes, we didn't care if we were heard. We just barged right in on one of their house-elves. Of course, it was scared as hell and ran as soon as it saw us. It was funny, and then Lucius killed it. I asked him why he killed the elf, because it did nothing wrong. He said, ' "It'll tell it's masters that we're here, so I had no choice." ' Then he told me to stop asking stupid questions and find Frank.

Alice couldn't be touched, as long as she didn't get in the way. Women weren't generally harmed during our raids unless they got in the way or they're the ones being hunted. It's an old Death Eater rule, and the Dark Lord practices it to the highest extent. Don't ask me why. He's just weird like that.

Anyway, we searched through the house to look for Frank. Since the house was large, we were split up into teams. Bella, Barty, and Rodolphus went to search the third and fourth floors whilst Lucius and I searched the first and second floors. They found Alice asleep in the Master bedroom with the child, but we still hadn't found Frank. Lucius told me to check downstairs while he checked the second floor. I reluctantly agreed and walked down the stairs. I entered the first room I saw, and no Frank. I looked in the kitchen, and no Frank. I even looked in the bathroom, and no Frank. Then, I looked in the family room, and spotted him.

Frank was sitting in an armchair, sipping tea and reading The Evening Prophet. I ran back and told Lucius and he followed me to the family room. We walked in, drew our wands, and pointed them at his heart. Frank merely looked up at us. He looked first at me, and then at Lucius. Then he spoke and said,' "What brings you here tonight, dear cousin?" ' His face showed no sign of fear, just a calm demeanor. Lucius snarled and said, ' "You _dare_ to speak to me like that?" '

Frank set down his paper and said, ' "Yes, I believe I _do_." ' Even though I was supposed to be fighting this guy, I admired him for standing up for himself. That was something I was never really able to do, and it was funny to see Lucius's face redden with anger as he spoke.

' "Where is the Horcrux, Frank?" ' said Lucius, trying to keep his tone as even as it was humanly possible. Frank said, ' "I have no idea what you're talking about, but why don't you ask your boss?" ' Lucius was getting really angry with Frank. He was trying to start a huge fight and Frank was sitting there as if they were discussing the matter over lunch or something.

Lucius spoke again. ' "Where is the Horcrux, Frank?" ' Frank shook his head and said, ' "None of your business." '

He said it in a tone that was mocking, and yet so serious. How does he _do_ that? Lucius asked him one last time and Frank replied, ' "Well, after I found it, I cleaned it up. Then, I put it in a box. Then I put that box inside of another box and wrapped it. Then, I put a pretty bow on top of the box and mailed it to myself. Then, when it arrives, I'll unwrap that box and take off the bow. Then, I'll take the little box out and _smash_ it with a hammer!" '

That was it for me. I laughed, and I didn't hold back. Lucius threw me a dirty look and then turned his attention back to Frank, who was now standing with his wand drawn.

' "I knew that you wanted that Horcrux, and you can bet your ass that I'm not giving it up. You can leave now, _dear cousin_." ' snapped Frank. Lucius glared at him and said, ' "I'm _not_ leaving without that Horcrux, Frank." ' Then Frank said, ' "Well, I guess you're not leaving then, are you?" ' Lucius waved his wand and shreiked, ' "_Crucio_!" '

Dear cousin Frank fell to the ground, his lips emitting screams that pierced the silent night air. His body writhed and squirmed and bent in ways that I couldn't describe. It was awful. Lucius's face was aglow with anger and hate, and was enjoying his torture. He dropped his wand and Frank stopped squirming. He layed limp on the ground, and Lucius spoke again.

' "That hurt, didn't it? Now, tell me where the Horcrux is or I'll torture Alice!" ' I stood in shock. We're not spposed to hurt the women unless they get in the way, and she wasn't in the way...

' "Lucius! We're not supposed to do that! The Dark Lord will be angry." ' I said quickly. Lucius scoffed and said,

' "Who cares? He'll thank us later. Now, stop being stupid and let me do my work!" ' He looked down at Frank and said, ' "Now you'll tell me, won't you Frank?" ' Frank glared up at him and said, ' "The _hell_ I will! Get out of my house!" '

Just then, Bella, Rodolphus, and Barty came down into the family room and saw us standing over Frank. Bella had an expression of pure joy on her face.

' "Oh! I see how this is! You leave us upstairs with Barty watching Alice as she sleeps while you get to torture him! I want to do it!" ' Bella snapped and whined. She is a little scary sometimes. She enjoys killing and torture. She is, and might be more, bloodthirsty than Fenrir Greyback. She stomped her feet and Lucius got annoyed with her. She continued to whine and complain until Lucius got so fed up with her that he whipped his wand at her and said, ' "If you want to torture him, fine. Just SHUT UP!" ' She grinned greedily and picked up his wand.

She walked over to Frank and said, ' "Why don't you kill him? He's suffered enough." ' Frank looked up at her and said, ' "If you want to kill me, go right ahead. I don't care. Just stay away from my wife and son." ' Bella laughed and said, ' "I spare no one." ' She raised her wand and screamed, ' "_CRUCIO_!" ' He started to twist again. He was no longer screaming, but screeching. He screeched at the top of his lungs. Just then, Alice came down stairs...

She was horror-struck. She screamed as she saw her husband being tortured. Alice then ran over to Bella and slapped the wand out of her hand. Frank stopped twitching, but all movement in him ceased as well.

' "Idiot woman! You're not to interfere!" ' said Lucius. She looked at him and almost started to cry.

' "Lucius...you would allow her to torture your cousin? A member of your own _family_?" ' She said, her voice trembling. Lucius looked up at her and said, ' "Yes. And if you don't go back to your room, you're next." Alice stood firmly on the spot and said in her trembling voice, ' "I'm not going anywhere." Then, out of nowhere, Barty raised his wand and said, ' "_Crucio_!" ' Alice fell to the ground and screamed like her husband did.

As soon as Barty dropped his wand, she fell to the floor, shaking. Lucius aked her where the Horcrux is, and she said she didn't know. So, Barty proceeded. He let her down again and Lucius asked once more. The answer was incoherent. She was babbling, then it hit me...Barty tortured Alice into insanity...

' "Way to go, Barty!" ' said Rodolphus appreciatively. I stared at him like he was a lunatic (Well, he is a lunatic, but I'm standing here too, so I can't judge.).

Frank stirred and saw Alice sitting on the ground, babbling. Tears rose to his eyes and he screamed, ' "You son of a bitch, I'll kill you!" ' He leapt forward and raised his wand, but old Barty was too quick for him. ' "_CRUCIO_!" ' he screamed, and Frank collapsed once more. Barty held him under for ten minutes, and any normal person would've been tortured to death. Not this guy, though. After ten minutes, the poor guy was still going. Ouch...

Barty's eyes glowed with an insane fire that would burn an angel's skin. Bella cackled at the top of her voice. Like I said, she's scary. Rodolphus just watched Frank squirming with a disgusted look on his face. I cowered in fear. Then, it happened...

The doors of the old manor flew wide open and it sounded as if there was an army platoon marching through. Barty lowered his wand and ran for the side door. He pressed his ear against it and said, ' "I hear voices. One of them sounds like my father. We'd better get our asses out if we want to live to see the Dark Lord again!" '

Rodolphus shook his head and said that we'd better find that Horcrux or we'll die when we see him again. Bella said that Rodolphus made a fair point and refused to leave. Barty told her to go to hell. I, on the other hand, transformed into a rat and hid under the sofa.

I saw many different feet running over to the spot where Frank and Alice were sitting. I heard someone yell,

' "Call for a Healer!" ' I think it was Alice's mother-in-law, but who cares. Anyway, I saw their bodies being carried out of the house, because their hands were being dragged across the floor.

Soon, the babbling got quieter, and quieter, until it was almost non-existant. I have no idea where the others went, and they probably ditched me. I guess I'm the butt of all jokes, but they'll get theirs...

Anyway, I transformed back into a human and proceeded to leave the house, and I couldn't help but notice that I heard a baby's cries upstairs...

-Wormtail

October 31st, 1980- Today is the day. Today is the day that the Dark Lord will finish the Potters and I'll collect Lily as my own. He is on his way tonight. I get to come along to collect her. I'm soooo looking forward to this! Oh, I've got to leave for the house. I'll write more tonight.

-Wormtail

October 31st, 1980- Ok, now I'm thoroughly pissed. HE KILLED LILY! I have no reward, and now I can't bitch at him for it. He fled like a dog with a tail between his legs! _Perfect. Just perfect_. I feel kinda bad, though. I watched the whole fight, and what I did was, well, I hope Sirius is forgiving...

Lily had just fed Harry, and put him in his play pen. She took off for the kitchen to clean up the dinner scraps. James was sitting on the couch, reading the _Evening Times_, when all of a sudden the Dark Lord blasted the door down and started laughing. His cruel, red eyes were aglow with crimson fury. James stood up and drew his wand. He told the Dark Lord to get out of the house or he'd curse him into oblivion. Then, the Dark Lord pulled down his hood and sent a spell at James. He dodged it and Lily came running in, her flowing red hair trailing behind her. James turned around and looked into her eyes...

' "Lily, it's him! Take Harry and leave! Now, Lily! Go!" ' Voldemort took advantage of this and sent the Killing Curse straight into his heart.

' "I love you, Lily." ' Then he fell to the ground, dead.

Lily's eyes were wide in horror. She screamed, and tears were streaming down her face. Then, she looked up, ran over to Harry, and snatched him out of his play pen. She ran up the stairs to the nursery with Harry clutched tightly in her arms. She bolted the door shut and held Harry close to her.

The Dark Lord blasted that door too and shouted, ' "Stand aside, you silly girl! Stand aside!" ' But she refused. She begged him to take her instead. So, he shouted, _' "AVADA KEDAVRA!" '_ and he killed her. She died with Harry clutched in her arms.

Then, he turned his wand upon the boy and sent a Killing curse straight to his forehead, but then it kinda, well, _bounced_ off his head and hit the Dark Lord. What the hell was up with that? Anyway, the Dark Lord fled and the kid had one ugly gash across his forehead. Then, I ran outside after the Dark Lord and I saw that he destroyed the house, too. How lovely. The, something bad happened...

Sirius drove up to the house on his motorcycle with a gift basket in his hand. I assume it was for Lily and James. It had white roses in it. Maybe Artemys made him do it, since it was their anniversary. He walked up the drive and looked around. The house was gone and the Dark Mark was floating above it, the lovely great snake protruding through the head of the skull. He started to sob, and that was the first time I ever saw him cry. Then that great oaf Hagrid showed up and saw Sirius there. They started to talk.

' "Sirius, I'm sorry fer yer loss, well...it was everyone's loss, wasn't it?" ' said Hagrid soothingly. Sirius stood there, pale as a ghost.

' "I can't believe it, Hagrid, I just can't. Why couldn't it have been me?" ' Then he shouted to the vast, starry sky,

' " In the name of Merlin, why couldn't it have been me?" ' He started to cry some more. Hagrid sat there, comforting him. I have never seen a more broken man than what I saw that day. But, enough of this mushy stuff.

I left before I had to see Sirius cry anymore and headed back here. I came back only to write, and hopefully I won't be bothered by the others asking where the Dark Lord went. Well, tonight's been long for me. I'll stop now. Goodnight, journal.

-Wormtail

**A/N- This is Wormtail's journal, a particularly detailed piece of work if I do say so myself. Hope you liked it and please review.**


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